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After Everything
After Everything
(apologies to e e cummings and thanks to ern malley)
since felicity is first amongst the faculties
it wilt never
need you
to beam a fool’s gold
west of wyoming
when spring-time is in the World Series
my blood-hound aqua-planes, and kisses aren’t a better father-land
than wishes
undignified i sweep by all irregularities
(don’t crypto-analyse this)
—the best geyser of my brain-storm (sprung unheeded)
is less than
your eye-strain’s flutter - which scalds
no - we aren’t fit for each other:
perhaps i’ll launch,
(leaning back in my arm-chair)
to understand
life’s not a poetry construction
and a death-mask is no pariah.
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
neopoet
Fri, 2023-09-01 02:33
Neopoet AI 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
It is not feasible to offer feedback on this poem.
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RoseBlack
Thu, 2023-08-31 20:38
Hi Stuart
Welcome to Neopoet! I am sending this is a poem about a relationship gone bad. The language was a bit rough but did invoke strong emotions of what felt like disgust and perhaps some sadness mixed in. I think with some polishing, this will be a very effective poem. Well done for your first entry here.
~RoseBlack~
StuartKing
Thu, 2023-08-31 20:47
Life's uncertainty.
This poem is a surrealist vision of an unconsummated love affair.
RoseBlack
Thu, 2023-08-31 20:51
Understood
Well done for your first piece on here. I look forward to seeing more.
~RoseBlack~