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Perfect Teen Girl
I smile brightly at my family and friends
I shrug my shoulders and clasp my hands
I look and strangers and give a quick nod
I only mention others when I pray to God
But inside my heart is slowly turning black
You'll never see me cry or cut myself slack
I'll look you in the eye and say "I'm okay."
I don't let you see my tears fall every day
You think I have everything I could ever need
But you don't see when my heart starts to bleed
You think I have everything under control
What would you say if one day I let you know
My laugh is there to keep my tears at bay
My smile is a lie to convince you I am okay
My confidence is a cover up for my insecurity
My writing is my escape from this reality
But it's really all good, hey, are you alright?
Please keep trying and don't give up the fight
I believe in you and everything you can be
If you need a friend, you can count on me
No no, don't worry about those cuts on my wrists
They're just products of my incredibly slow wits
Yeah it was an accident, now more about you
Are you scared of what you think you can't do?
Hey, of course I'm eating, why would I purposely starve
Why don't you show me those new tools you've carved?
Wow you look so beautiful in that brand new dress
What? Of course I'm fine, my life isn't a mess
I am so sorry you're hurting, and I don't know why
Was that a tear you just saw? No. Why would I cry?
Don't be afraid, if you have a dream give it a whirl
Just a Little bit of advice from your Perfect Teen Girl
Comments
neopoet
Sun, 2023-03-26 10:11
Neopoet AI
The below is a computer generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
As an AI language model, I cannot provide a personal opinion on what a perfect teen girl is. However, I can share some characteristics that are often associated with a well-rounded and confident teen girl:
1. Self-confidence: A perfect teen girl is confident in herself and her abilities. She is comfortable in her own skin and embraces her uniqueness.
2. Kindness: She is kind to herself, to others, and to the environment. She understands the importance of empathy and compassion.
3. Intelligence: She values education and strives to learn and grow. She is curious about the world around her and seeks knowledge.
4. Healthy lifestyle: A perfect teen girl takes care of her physical and mental health. She exercises regularly, eats a balanced diet, and prioritizes self-care.
5. Strong relationships: She has healthy relationships with her family, friends, and peers. She understands the importance of communication, boundaries, and respect.
6. Creativity: She is creative and expresses herself through various forms of art or other interests.
7. Resilience: She is able to bounce back from setbacks and challenges. She has a growth mindset and understands that failure is a part of the learning process.
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
andrew
Sun, 2023-03-26 14:44
This obviously missed the
This obviously missed the mark!
Shelby Pryor
Sun, 2023-03-26 22:03
Andrew
This was written in awareness of teenage girls who struggle with themselves. It wasn't meant to actually describe the perfect teenager. I wrote it in awareness for the rising suicide rates in teenagers. This is how they feel and this needs to be exposed to more people.
andrew
Mon, 2023-03-27 12:16
To clarify, my comment was
To clarify, my comment was that the Neopoet AI feature in this case obviously missed the mark. When I read this response, I immediately put through an update to the AI feature so something like this is less likely to happen again. I decided to keep the comment because I think it's important to be honest about when AI succeeds and when it fails, but if you feel the comment is disrespectful or you just don't want the comment to be associated with your piece, just let me know and I will remove it.
Shelby Pryor
Mon, 2023-03-27 15:26
Andrew
No the comment was fine, I just wanted to be sure that the intent of this poem was clear to avoid confusion. The comment is 100% percent fine! Thank you so much for your kindness, I really appreciate it!
Shelby Pryor
Sun, 2023-03-26 22:03
Neopoet
This was written in awareness of teenage girls who struggle with themselves. It wasn't meant to actually describe the perfect teenager. I wrote it in awareness for the rising suicide rates in teenagers. This is how they feel and this needs to be exposed to more people.
Geezer
Sun, 2023-03-26 11:38
Okay...
I think our AI friend has missed the mark this time.
[Neo] as our upper echelon wants to call him, got caught up in explaining what
a "perfect girl" is; rather than give a nod to the author for insinuating
that she is not perfect, because she is very unsatisfied with all that she has,
and dreams of something different, more fulfilling. She denies her feelings and
tries to make sure that others don't feel bad about themselves, like she does.
There are some very tiny stumbles in meter toward the end,
but I see it as a product of the stress of being perfect. It's okay, none of us
are perfect. I see you get that. [I'm not so sure that you always did.]
Nicely done! ~ Geezer.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Shelby Pryor
Sun, 2023-03-26 22:06
Geezer
Thank you so much! I wrote this in awareness of the many teenage girls who struggle with themselves. You're right, at one point I understood this so well. Thanks again for your support, it means the world to me!
Shelby Pryor
Sun, 2023-03-26 22:06
Geezer
:)
RoseBlack
Sun, 2023-03-26 15:10
Hi Shelby
As a teen girl way back when, I resonated with this poem. So many things stood out...all the emotions and how she tries to hide them. My teen years were difficult and I often hid behind what others wanted me to be. I disguised sadness with gladness and dreamed of being a different version of me. AI seems to want to give a character analysis of the perfect teenager...I wish him luck in finding one. Well done!!!
~RoseBlack~
Shelby Pryor
Sun, 2023-03-26 22:07
RoseBlack
Thank you so much! As a teen I struggled with these things too....took me a long time to overcome my fears and insecurities. I guess I just wanted to let teenage girls today know it's okay to not be okay. Thanks again! :)
Shelby Pryor
Sun, 2023-03-26 22:57
Ekaterina Alexa
Thank you so much! And that sounds great! I'd love to help any way I can!