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Fight
This world will knock you off your feet
It will leave you feeling unimaginable defeat
In life, it isn't about how many comebacks we try
It's all about how many hits we can take and survive
It is time to go hard, push yourself to The extreme
When you're tempted to quit, just think of your dream
Life is hard, and more often than not it isn't right
That's why we have to put on our armour and Fight
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
[This option has been removed]
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Candlewitch
Fri, 2023-01-13 07:37
title could use a bit of
title could use a bit of "punching-up" but the content is great and very well constructed. I enjoyed your language usage.
*hugs, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Shelby Pryor
Fri, 2023-01-13 14:32
Candlewitch
Thank you so much!
Shelby Pryor
Fri, 2023-01-13 14:33
Ekaterina Alexa
Thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed!
Rosewood Apothecary
Fri, 2023-01-13 12:14
Nice work
Great job sticking to your pattern and rhyme. Good theme. All around a well written poem everyone can connect with.
Tim
Shelby Pryor
Fri, 2023-01-13 14:34
Rosewood Apothecary
Thank you so much!
Seren
Fri, 2023-01-13 12:50
Dear Shelby
I liked this one, the "can" in the fourth line first stanza I feel is superfluous. But other than that, it's a good poem, I would love to see you write more than 2 stanzas at a time. I know I've only read 2 of your poems but of those 2 both had 2 stanzas, sometimes less is more but sometimes more is better.
I loved your message, yet I think you could be a little more adventurous with your word usage.
Sincerely Jayne-Chloe
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats
Shelby Pryor
Fri, 2023-01-13 14:35
Serene
Thank you for reading and for the advice. The next poem I post will be longer, I promise. Thank you so much!
Seren
Fri, 2023-01-13 14:43
Shelby
All my suggestions are just that take them or leave them, I look forward to reading more from you and definitely will be looking out for your next post!! If you like your welcome to message me, when you do? I will see the email and I will come take a look there are a few who do and its always a pleasure. I don't want to miss it after making the suggestion!
Hugs Seren x
Pssst its Seren because I'm obsessed with the night sky and Seren means star! I am definitely not serene LOL
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats
Shelby Pryor
Fri, 2023-01-13 17:30
Serene
☺