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THE PATHWAY OF POETS
the impregnation of thought
is fertilized in a profound
silence of time
the human mind
is the ethereal element
of the spirit
he treads beyond
the horizon of his
imaginative boundaries
and explores the capacity
of his mental prowess
on his poetic province
poet's mind propels
a creative energy
to delve into
the realm of thoughts
ideas and swim
beneath the oceans
of wisdom and creativity
©® Onyinyechi Cosmos Etu
Review Request (Intensity):
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Candlewitch
Thu, 2023-01-12 12:29
dear Onyineche,
nicely played hand!
*hugs, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Jackweb
Thu, 2023-01-12 12:35
O yeah!
Thanks for reading and commenting.
.
"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".
~Jackweb
Lavender
Thu, 2023-01-12 18:55
The Highway of Poets
Hello, Jackweb,
Lovely language to describe a poet's mind and energy. "...beneath the oceans of wisdom and creativity." A beautiful visual to imagine. I am wondering about the title and curious as to why you chose "Highway." The poem reflects on aspects of spirit and nature: the horizon and the oceans, and highway seems a bit concrete.
Thank you!
L
Jackweb
Thu, 2023-01-12 22:24
Much appreciated!
I will always be thankful for taking off your time to read and your precious comments. It means a lot to me. Believe me, I don't understand what you mean by being concrete. What do you suggest Lav...?
Thanks!
.
"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".
~Jackweb
Lavender
Thu, 2023-01-12 23:08
Hi, there!
I'm sorry - I didn't describe my thoughts very well. The poem sounds so natural, and soft - spiritual in a great sense. For me, "Highway" doesn't sound quite as poetic as the rest of your language. Maybe something similar to "Pathway Of Poets" or "Passageway Of Poets" which would cover both a literal path and a mindful process. Your poem is wonderful as is, though, Jackweb!
Thanks!
Lav
Jackweb
Fri, 2023-01-13 01:10
Alright!
Well understood ! Thank you so much for your great suggestion. I think pathway of poets sounds better.
.
"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".
~Jackweb
Lavender
Fri, 2023-01-13 09:10
My pleasure!
And likewise, I always appreciate your support!
Lav
Rosewood Apothecary
Fri, 2023-01-13 05:50
Very good
I think the title, theme, pattern, pacing are all really good. The language usage is especially excellent and I think you could make it just about perfect with a few tweaks.
the human mind
is the spiritual element
of the spirit
Try not using “spirit” twice in that stanza.
the human mind
is the ethereal element
of the spirit
Or
the human mind
is the spiritual element
of the soul
Something like those examples
Then I’d mess with this
and explores his capacity
of his mental prowess
on his poetic province
Maybe
and explores the capacity
of his mental prowess
on his poetic province
Or
and explores his capacity
for mental prowess
over his poetic province
That has more to do with verb tense which more grammatical than anything.
Great job,
Tim
Jackweb
Fri, 2023-01-13 08:18
Wow!
You have done a very nice job in your critique. Thanks a bunch for taking your time to go through it. Much appreciated esteemed poet.
.
"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".
~Jackweb
Seren
Fri, 2023-01-13 14:10
Dear JackWeb
The work has already been done. Suggestions already made and I really love this poem. everyone has eloquently put it before I got here!
I offer kudos on a brilliant write.
Sincerely Jayne-Chloe
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats
Jackweb
Fri, 2023-01-13 14:47
I
do appreciate your comment. Thanks a lot!
Hoping to read your critique next time.
.
"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".
~Jackweb