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Haiku #6
A low sun watches
a poorly swept-up frost; hang its'
cobwebs out to dry.
Style / type:
Structured: Eastern
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Rosewood Apothecary
Fri, 2022-12-30 06:01
Stunning!
What can a guy say but bravo. What a linguistic photograph you’ve got here.
Gorgeous
Tim
Loki
Fri, 2022-12-30 07:30
Thank you indeed.
Thank you indeed.
Geezer
Fri, 2022-12-30 08:24
I can see...
that picture of dew dropped web blowing faintly in the warm sunshine! Like Mrs. Spider just washed the sheets from her bed.
Nice stuff. ~ Geezer.
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There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Jackweb
Fri, 2022-12-30 11:25
Great job!
Personifying the sun is a very beautiful poetic device used in the poem. Nice one!
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"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".
~Jackweb
Loki
Fri, 2022-12-30 14:44
Yes......I strive to
Yes......I strive to personify without sentiment to help the reader to access the images. Difficult though to stay minimalist.