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Might as Well Be You
I want to make it big
I want to be the best
I want to wind up on top
I need to pass the test
But it's tough to get people to notice
It's so hard to get exposure
When someone else gets the prize you earned
It's difficult to find any closure
It's hard when you are overlooked
But this is my advice to you
Be so loud they can't see past your light
Make some noise and do what you gotta do
And at the end of the day
When all is finished and through
Someone's gonna set this world on fire
And It Might as Well Be You
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words:
I'd like some advice on whether I should rearrange the wording on my work. Feel free to give your opinion!
Editing stage:
Contest:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Rula
Sun, 2022-12-11 13:22
One good rant
we always need to speak loud, otherwise many human rights will be overlooked.
Well put indeed
❤❤❤❤❤❤
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Shelby Pryor
Mon, 2022-12-12 11:56
Rula
Thank you! And yes, we can't allow people to overlook us. Thanks for the comment!
Lavender
Sun, 2022-12-11 20:34
Might As Well Be You
Hello, Shelby,
I've read this out loud several times - it has great rhyme and rhythm. I don't know that I'd change anything. The message is clear and direct, and full of wisdom. Very nice!
Thank you,
Lavender
Shelby Pryor
Mon, 2022-12-12 11:58
Lavender
Thank you so much! This one just came to mind and came out the way I wanted. Thanks.❤
Alex Tanner
Mon, 2022-12-12 13:04
Might As Well Be You
Very nicely composed, easy to read with a good message.
Alex
Shelby Pryor
Tue, 2022-12-13 14:55
Alex Tanner
Thank you Alex!!! I truly appreciate the kind words!
Candlewitch
Sun, 2022-12-18 08:01
dear Shelby,
in my opinion: I like this poem just the way it is. your personality comes through and makes itself known. great job!
*always, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Shelby Pryor
Sun, 2022-12-18 11:06
Candlewitch
Hi, thank you so much! I appreciate the kind words!