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She Walked Along The Lake
She walked along the lake looking ghostly pale
He promised her Heaven but only gave her Hell
She loved him more than she probably should
Said she would leave him but she never could
Her love for him was too strong for her to break
So she stayed and took more than she could take
Cried so much until there was nothing left but dust
He took her heart and he turned it into a husk
Then a cold winter night came to help in her escape
She went to sleep but when she did finally awake
Her body left but her spirit stayed with a sealed fate
Destined forever to walk ghostly pale along the lake
Review Request (Intensity):
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Last few words:
She just could not take anymore.
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Warrior Princess
Sun, 2022-08-28 08:10
Hi Depressed, this poem is
Hi Depressed, this poem is profound. My perspective is the person had given up on herself, on any hope of seeking any help from this world. Her only option of freedom was to commit suicide in the lake. It is raw and deep and shows the correlation between chronic depression and suicide. The rhythm of the poem was maintained. It also shows how love can ruin a person's soul, especially when the person does not understand how to love herself and value her worth.
Candice Vitalien
"Keep glowing even if no one can see your light.
For among the hidden stars on the darkest night
Someone will look up and behold
The flickering hope; words untold;
Strength and Honour my Warriors! "
Depressed 1
Sun, 2022-08-28 11:58
Thanks
Thanks for reading and the nice complements.
https://www.artofelpaso.com/
Warrior Princess
Sun, 2022-08-28 08:10
Hi Depressed, this poem is
Hi Depressed, this poem is profound. My perspective is the person had given up on herself, on any hope of seeking any help from this world. Her only option of freedom was to commit suicide in the lake. It is raw and deep and shows the correlation between chronic depression and suicide. The rhythm of the poem was maintained. It also shows how love can ruin a person's soul, especially when the person does not understand how to love herself and value her worth.
Candice Vitalien
"Keep glowing even if no one can see your light.
For among the hidden stars on the darkest night
Someone will look up and behold
The flickering hope; words untold;
Strength and Honour my Warriors! "