Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
MY MOTHER ( Challenge Contest#15
My dear lovely mother,
in my heart and soul
I hold you in high esteem
for your unflinching determination
to raise me up
now is my turn to reward you handsomely
when the bright cloud disappeared with pain
your doggedness as a widow
has never dwindled yet
your unwavering spirit
remained resolute and
you kept moving with faith
The labour of love
parental care and protection
you gave me is the symbol of your character
your stewardship to humanity
you heartily rendered
shall bring you closer to heaven
I sing a dirge song now
your abrupt exit from mother earth
has left a vacuum here with us
who will fill your space so we can enjoy
a fresh air of salvation
though the monster came uninvited
holding all ends of mankind
with cold hands of invasion
pointing accusing fingers on the righteous
but I know your submission is not a defeat
for you have virtuously given your best
whilst you lived as a mother.
©® Onyinyechi Cosmos Etu
Comments
Geezer
Fri, 2022-05-27 09:36
Tenses...
You need help with your tenses.
first stanza is alright.
[has] never dwindled]
[Remained] resolute
You [kept] moving
[The] labour of love
[shall bring] you closer to Heaven
[holding] all ends
Your language use is getting better
The pace is good
The theme is fitting
Logic is okay
~ Geezer.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Jackweb
Fri, 2022-05-27 10:51
I am always grateful
Thanks so much for your time to read. Please check on it.
"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".
~Jackweb
Geezer
Sat, 2022-05-28 08:50
Good work...
just the suggestion that you should use a question mark whenever you ask a question.
[Who will fill your space... so that we can enjoy a fresh air of salvation[?]
~ Geezer.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Jackweb
Sat, 2022-05-28 11:29
Noted!
Alright boss. Will be conscious of that from now
"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".
~Jackweb
Candlewitch
Sat, 2022-05-28 07:28
dear Onyinyechi,
this is a lovely tribute to your mother's love. I really liked these lines:
The labour of love
parental care and protection
you gave me is the symbol of your character
your stewardship to humanity
you heartily rendered
shall bring you closer to heaven
*hugs, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Jackweb
Sat, 2022-05-28 07:34
Thank you Cat... !
Yes, I really missed her so much. She was a nice woman.
"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".
~Jackweb