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Poetess
Hidden behind the angels’ veneer
Runs a tortured mind deep inside
Curses, spells and evil deeds
Twist and swirl in a darkness redesigned
Masked beneath the angel’s smile
Seeps anger, poison and bile
Words sharpened to penetrate
Weighted to desecrate
She can’t hold it back
She can’t fight it anymore
Every word turns from the light into black
She wants to write and become a poetess
Expressing words of beauty and finesse
To share feelings of love and romance
and lose the words that can only serve to depress
She wants to write and become a poetess
Expressing words of grace and finesse
To paint images with shades of colour
And find a way to keep her demons suppressed
She can’t hold it back
She can’t take it anymore
Every word of innocence becomes attack
Cloaked behind the angels’ face
Boils a sinister corrupted brain
Evil deeds, curses and spells
Grind and bind in a torment of pain
Concealed beneath the angel’s smile
Seeps poison, anger and bile
Words sharpened to penetrate
Weighted to desecrate
Comments
Candlewitch
Thu, 2022-03-17 15:34
dear One,
it is so very nice to meet you! welcome to Neopoet where we share our poetry with other like-minded folks. I loved your poem, it is spectacular. you are a wordsmith of the first order! I want to read more of your work, yes, I am greedy, lol. this is a finely crafted piece of work, to say the least. the poetess, from her description, I think I know her. keep writing!!!
my favorite lines are:
She can’t hold it back
She can’t fight it anymore
Every word turns from the light into black
She can’t hold it back
She can’t take it anymore
Every word of innocence becomes attack
*hugs, Cat
*
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
One
Fri, 2022-03-18 03:57
Cat
Dear Cat,
thank you for being the first to comment on my work.
I appreciate your comment & look forward to reading you & commenting accordingly. I hope to find some Eddy Styx on my journey.
Regards
One
.
"with all that I am & all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me"
Geezer
Thu, 2022-03-17 18:21
Sounds like...
the last evil woman that 'Killer' dated! Wow, this could be a song, all it needs is a chorus. I like the staggered rhyme and the flow is great. Your theme is good and flows well from beginning to end. Welcome to Neo. I hope that you find a niche here and enjoy the company and comradery. ~ Geezer.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
One
Fri, 2022-03-18 04:01
Gee
Gee,
thanks for reading & commenting & for being my guide.
It can be altered quite easily to become a lyric with some changing of the positions of the verses.
How does this read:
Hidden behind the angels’ veneer
Runs a tortured mind deep inside
Curses, spells and evil deeds
Twist and swirl in a darkness redesigned
Masked beneath the angel’s smile
Seeps anger, poison and bile
Words sharpened to penetrate
Weighted to desecrate
She can’t hold it back
She can’t fight it anymore
Every word turns from the light into black
She wants to write and become a poetess
Expressing words of beauty and finesse
To share feelings of love and romance
and lose the words that can only serve to depress
She wants to write and become a poetess
Expressing words of grace and finesse
To paint images with shades of colour
And find a way to keep her demons suppressed
She can’t hold it back
She can’t take it anymore
Every word of innocence becomes attack
Cloaked behind the angels’ face
Boils a sinister corrupted brain
Evil deeds, curses and spells
Grind and bind in a torment of pain
Concealed beneath the angel’s smile
Seeps poison, anger and bile
Words sharpened to penetrate
Weighted to desecrate
------------------
Anyway, appreciate the welcome & comment,
regards
One
.
"with all that I am & all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me"
Geezer
Mon, 2022-03-21 14:10
I just realized...
that I didn't respond to your question of how it looks now! I think it is great! Much smoother. ~ Geez.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
One
Wed, 2022-03-23 04:55
Gee
Gee,
I have now changed it & am much happier with this version.
regards
One
.
"with all that I am & all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me"
One
Fri, 2022-03-18 04:03
Mark
Mark,
really appreciate you taking time out to read & comment on my first posting.
I shall be spending the weekend reading others poets' work & commenting.
Thanks for the welcome,
regards
One
.
"with all that I am & all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me"
scribbler
Fri, 2022-03-18 09:37
welcome
to the asylum. This has the repetition of a song almost. And I expect everybody has their own demons they try to keep hidden away. I don't critique anybody's first submission but this was an enjoyable dip into the dark side.
One
Fri, 2022-03-18 10:17
Stan
You know me, you can critique any of my work no matter if it's the first or 100th!!
Thanks for the welcome to the asylum...I assume they never let us out!!
Regards
One.
.
"with all that I am & all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me"
Ray Whitaker
Fri, 2022-03-18 11:51
Welcome to this website!
Your piece is a good read. i do think your revision in response to Gee is better.
Please continue to post your work here. I personally would like to know more about you on your author's page.
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Raywhitakerblog.wordpress.com
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One
Fri, 2022-06-10 09:29
Ray
..
.
"with all that I am & all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me"
Jackweb
Sat, 2022-03-19 13:33
Powerful ink!
Indeed your ink bleeds! I love your creative energy.
"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".
~Jackweb
One
Mon, 2022-03-21 06:12
Jack
I very much appreciate your words. Thanks for taking time to read & comment,
regards
One
.
"with all that I am & all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me"