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The Visit
Iron gate, unlatched,
cedars quietly swaying;
from the West, a new moon sails by.
On your tomb, neglected –
one wilted rose and a letter of goodbye.
Moonshadows cast scintilla of radiance
on your picture framed by granite:
praying, I pause with clasped hands.
Soon the dawns
will be merry and twittering,
there will be luminous tomorrows.
Keep living –
don’t be drained by sorrow.
Review Request (Intensity):
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction):
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Ray Whitaker
Sun, 2021-09-05 13:10
There upon the stone
A whole life remains
What of the involvement residual
Anchored to the past
Inert, to moving forward
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Raywhitakerblog.wordpress.com
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Gracy
Tue, 2021-09-07 15:25
Hi Ray, thanks so much for
Hi Ray, thanks so much for your comment. Not sure I know what you mean, but all nits are welcome. I had in mind my sons, Robert and Patrick, who died very young, 21 and 29 years old.
There is, of course, residual (and far more) sorrow remaining to this day.
Best wishes, Gracy
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"My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies; fairy tales of yesterday will grow but never die, I can fly, my friends.” – Freddie Mercury
lovedly
Mon, 2021-09-06 21:09
very emotional Grace
after years
yourdevotion
is worthy of appreciation
Gracy
Tue, 2021-09-07 15:26
Hi lovedly, thanks for always
Hi lovedly, thanks for always stopping by with appreciative comments. You're right, devotion to the past of my loved ones is still present today.
Bless you, Gracy
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"My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies; fairy tales of yesterday will grow but never die, I can fly, my friends.” – Freddie Mercury
scribbler
Tue, 2021-09-07 18:00
Hi Grace
most excellent imagery as well as message
Gracy
Sat, 2021-09-11 15:26
Hi scribbler, so glad you
Hi scribbler, so glad you like it. I still want to work on it, I'm not satisfied myself with it.
Thanks for dropping by. Best wishes!
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"My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies; fairy tales of yesterday will grow but never die, I can fly, my friends.” – Freddie Mercury