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Stretching wings workshop (rhyming exercise)
a man thought he'd find some repose
boarding crows in his very large nose
but he's mad when they litter
for they don't have a shitter
he's bitter they shit on his toes
yes, his shoes are a mess
you could certainly guess
he’s depressed more or less and it shows
so it’s cleaned with a scraper
and wadded up paper
it's a caper of state that he knows
the offending affair
only lends to despair
people stare everywhere that he goes
he complains to the birds
"I AM COVERED IN TURDS!"
the poor man with the crows in his nose
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words:
This poem employs internal rhyme as well. Loosely based on anapestic meter and the limerick form.
Editing stage:
Workshop:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
scribbler
Fri, 2021-07-23 01:22
Hi
It also has a mixed rhyme pattern which makes the rhyme a bit less obvious
Geezer
Fri, 2021-07-23 08:51
Great stuff...
I am interested in seeing how you transform this into another form. ~ Geez.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
scribbler
Fri, 2021-07-23 11:23
HEH HEH
Who said it would be Him doing the transformation?
Arrow
Fri, 2021-07-23 12:05
Oh . . .
now this is interesting.
Triskelion
Fri, 2021-07-23 13:38
Alright...
who has the biggest nose?....lol
Thomas
.
.
...so like my lost dreams...the flood
Obadiah Grey
Fri, 2021-07-23 13:48
Nobby has a great big nose
Nobby has a great big nose
a great big nose has he,
and nobby knows
that his big nose
is big, as big can be,
Nobby has two knobbly knees
two knobbly knees has he,
his knobbly knees
are as knobely
as knobbly knees can be,
don’t pity dear old nobby
for soon it’s plain to see,
that nobby has a great big knob
as big, as big as three !
now nobbys knob is knobly,
as knobly as a knob can be,
so nose and knee and knob
make three,
and we - are knob- ely.
Triskelion
Sat, 2021-07-24 10:47
I heard..
Ol' Nobby went out on the town
and convinced a young tart to go down
but the bint cried in sobs,
"Oh My God, you've three knobs!"
"you're a hob or a clod or a clown!"
Thomas
.
.
...so like my lost dreams...the flood
Obadiah Grey
Sat, 2021-07-24 14:07
I doff my cap to you, Sir.
I doff my cap to you, Sir.
Well played !
Obi.
Triskelion
Sat, 2021-07-24 15:57
Aw, no, man
gotta be somethin' there, c'mon, it's all fun.
Thomas
.
.
...so like my lost dreams...the flood
Obadiah Grey
Fri, 2021-07-23 13:11
Oh,,, God bless ya! Obi.
Oh,,, God bless ya!
Obi.
Arrow
Fri, 2021-07-23 21:04
Oh, I like that
use of an internal rhyme tying in in the previous end rhymes. Nice! I am going to have to find a way to try that.