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Alter ego C. Wilde Night in the life
Staring across the tension tight space
separates
me from the door
wondering how fast a draw
how many shots
will I make it across the floor
A maniac is laughing
in the bathroom
advising in a pitched bozo voice
"It's time to grow up kids"
gotta expect that from a lunatic
yeah just grow up and quit......
sounds quite a bit
like a wife I had
and painful slow suicide
waiting gets intense
cracking like an electric charge
now poised, frozen
on the edge of a trance
long, dark and black
the moment tightly wound
the feeling tightly wrapped
the question of this space and time
when will the tuning go too far
and cause the string to snap
killing off the parrot in the corner
and making everybody laugh
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words:
My alter ego Christian Wilde is the name I used when I fronted bands, a mix of Fletcher Christian from Mutiny on the Bounty and Oscar Wilde. Also a bit of a dig at myself being a Ministers son. The Poem is from a memory I had sitting back stage at a local theater with the headlining band, it was one of those nights
Editing stage:
Contest:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Geezer
Thu, 2021-05-20 00:13
Christian Wilde...
I like the name! I am thinking that there is meaning to it and it gives me ideas about who you are.
An error I spotted: "When will the tuning go [too] far"...
~Geezer.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
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atorn
Thu, 2021-05-20 14:12
That damned extra "o" always gets me
Thanks for pointing it out I'll correct it
Candlewitch
Thu, 2021-05-20 07:00
hello Andrew,
an interesting poem with great potential. maybe it would help to give us a little history of your character in the last few words box. what is his occupation? is he a gun-hand?
*hugs, Cat
-
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
atorn
Thu, 2021-05-20 14:17
A singer
The gun was being waved around by a member of one of the other bands, Christian is/was a singer
Candlewitch
Fri, 2021-05-21 11:25
thank you!
thank you for the added information. it helped a lot!
*hugs, Cat
-
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
c lynn brooks
Sun, 2021-05-23 20:54
Andrew
This is an amazing write. did you enter ii in this months contest if not I would
Chrys
check out our chat room open to all 24/7
atorn
Mon, 2021-05-24 10:25
reply
I did enter it