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The Ruby Necklace
He spat her name out
as if something vile on his tongue
then just as quickly
begged her forgiveness
How dare she forget him
not even cold in his grave
and wed to another
The image of the ruby necklace
around her throat
her slender soft throat
burned in his memory
Ah what might that be
coming through the shadows
a pretty young lass
I shall sate my anger
Pouncing upon her
as a cat would attack it's prey
he smothered her in death's kisses
she cringed from the stench
of a rotting corpse
Fowl tongue tasting her throat
steel cold nails
raking her skin
She need not have to
suffer much longer
drawing the blade from ear to ear
his was ecstasy beholding the blood
pouring from her wound
much like the ruby necklace
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words:
This is an excerpt from my newest manuscript Leaving Daylight
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Geezer
Mon, 2021-03-15 11:07
Hmmmm...
I like it! Only crit. is that [fowl] should be [foul]. Make sure that you send me a transcript to read! ~ Geez.
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c lynn brooks
Mon, 2021-03-15 14:57
Gee
thank you agggggg I can't believe I just did that
Chrys
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c lynn brooks
Mon, 2021-03-15 14:57
teddy
thanks for the read and suggestion
Chrys
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Candlewitch
Tue, 2021-04-20 06:15
hey Chrys,
I love it and it resonated with eddy styx, too. Great title, which resurfaces at the end of the poem! the angle that this is written by someone who has passed from this life and takes his revenge from beyond the grave, is deliciously chilling! it feels like "just desserts". I think it is perfect as it is, I would not change a word of it. I wish I had written it ;)
*always, Cat
p.s.
thank you for directing me to this!
*
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c lynn brooks
Tue, 2021-04-20 08:44
cat
Thank you. I was sure you would like this one
Chrys
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Candlewitch
Tue, 2021-04-20 08:51
I nominated it!
I nominated it!
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
c lynn brooks
Fri, 2021-04-23 16:15
cat
Thank You !
Chrys
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