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HOW MUCH I MISS YOU (MARCH CONTEST)
HOW MUCH I MISS YOU
Never knew my emptiness
Often getting into restlessness
Remembering the part that's bloom
I sat alone in the room
Just at my door a resounding knock
I jumped up to open the lock
There your charming and radiant pride
Quickly my heart’s door opened wide
Your warmth I got for free
Your song whispered love to me
As I reminisce your smile
I wish you were here a while
Please stay with me forever
Remain to me a partner
Your absence gets me thinking
As my head keeps on aching
Review Request (Intensity):
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage:
Contest:
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Comments
Geezer
Fri, 2019-03-22 16:10
Love...
poems are meant to be about getting in a tizzy over someone else. It's supposed to knock you down and pick you up, only to knock you down again. Love doesn't always make sense, sometimes we never figure out why, we just know that it is. Nice write. The title is good and doesn't leave you hanging and wondering what the hell you are talking about. Your rhyme was good all the way to the end. last one just doesn't really make it. Your lines got shorter and still made sense, but it kinda makes the rhythm a little bit wobbly. ~ Geezer.
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scribbler
Thu, 2019-03-28 09:43
Hi
I think the 3rd stanza is the heart of this poem. Good luck in contest