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Gesture [Attempted Haiku]
hand on her shoulder
worth a million flowers
blooming in desert
Style / type:
Structured: Eastern
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
How does this theme appeal to you?
Last few words:
Also an attempt at implied imagery
Editing stage:
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Comments
IRiz
Sat, 2018-12-01 23:59
hmmmm,
hmmmm,
i am not sure what does it mean?
hand on her shoulder
IRiz
raj
Sun, 2018-12-02 04:06
Hi IRiz
it's a gesture of consolation...that's what is implied...
...............................................
raj (sublime_ocean)
IRiz
Sun, 2018-12-02 10:20
Maybe than her hand on my
Maybe than her hand on my shoulder?
IRiz
IRiz
Sun, 2018-12-02 10:20
Maybe than her hand on my
Maybe than her hand on my shoulder?
IRiz
raj
Sun, 2018-12-02 12:55
Hi IRiz
yes it could be what you said, but here it is intended to be a gesture of comforting her who is feeling desolate, hence the third line has the word desert..
.................................................
raj (sublime_ocean)
lovedly
Sun, 2018-12-02 10:31
my thought raj
this is when one is bereaved
and you place a hand
as in a hug around the shoulders
silent consolation it conveys
immensely
raj
Sun, 2018-12-02 12:52
Thanks for reading Lovedly.
Thanks for reading Lovedly.
Yes it is a gesture of comforting someone but not necessarily during bereavement but whenever someone feels alone or desolate.
.................................................................
raj (sublime_ocean)