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Love is a peace weapon
The seamless seed of beatitude is love,
helplessly for its lushness we all crave.
Love genuine , breeds, nurtures peace;
erects a podium for elegance.
Hate, strife, could be carried in a gurney,
through a long, doomed and return less journey,
into a dark lonely ignoble hearse,
with a great unstoppable speed and ease .
If love across the universe is strewn,
until true blissfulness on earth is known
and everyone of us croons with one voice
from our hearts, harmonious songs of peace.
When we all sow the seed of beatitude,
flawless bliss will be savored in plenitude.
we will cling in assent a warm embrace.
Harmony will reign amongst every race.
And no eyes again shall be shrouded in tears,
for gone will be all frets, angst and fears
from mean affronts of racial differences,
for no more shall we speak with different voices.
Love is a perpetual peace weapon,
differences in a flicker it weakens.
With it racism, dissent, we can impale
and prejudice, strife, sunk in the dale.
Comments
Chiori
Thu, 2017-11-02 04:59
Love is a perpetual a peace weapon
what a call for unity and love
always remember to make a critique of other poems
using the hoe is not madness for nothing
Marvel Godwyn
Fri, 2017-11-03 20:13
Thanks Chiori.
Thanks Chiori.
Eumolpus
Sun, 2017-11-12 21:03
your poem
Each poet has a mission to write poetry. Sometimes we try to use it as a liberating expression using the beauty of words and images to express our inner personal experiences, transfer them to a poetic universe which makes them swell will meaning, catharsis, hope. Sometimes we become philosophers using poetry, no logic or other philosophical system, to express truth. Sometimes it takes the place of prayer.
Your poem is like a sermon using a poetic style. Most of the people who read it will be totally on your side, totally agree with you..I, for one, am after all, from the "Love Generation" of babies born 1940's-50's. If you consider your audience, you are "preaching to the choir". So it is not for me to
not compliment you on the work, which is successful in getting the point across.
You must follow your heart. But i would juts like to suggest we take a very hard look at this very modern world we live in, with all the undreamed possibilities of connection and also the undreamed corruption of the human spirit among us. The Beatles sang "all you need is love", Bob Marley gave us many songs too, and we all sang along. I think I have learned we do need more...and to understand this love we must also understand our hate. and to do that, we must understand ourselves. Poetry is one way we can attempt to do that, but we have to dig deep into ourselves.
May I suggest you read Walt Whitman.He sings of himself and the world in such a way as to connect him, his presence, so it is both deeply personal and preaches of hope.
Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings
Marvel Godwyn
Mon, 2017-11-13 01:24
Thanks so much Eumolpus, I so
Thanks so much Eumolpus, I so much appreciate this critique.
weirdelf
Sat, 2017-12-02 01:52
My first reading.
Tell me what this changes about the poem for you, if anything, or difference you now feel about the piece.
https://soundcloud.com/neopoet/love-is-a-peace-weapon-by-marvel-godwyn
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
Marvel Godwyn
Sat, 2017-12-02 12:00
Jess, the sound is mute i
Jess, the sound is mute i think there's a problem somewhere.
weirdelf
Sat, 2017-12-02 12:15
Did you get my message about diagnosing the problem?
Anyhow it works fine at my end. I uploaded the same Mp3 of the recording to Vocaroo, it will be interesting to see if that works at your end.
https://vocaroo.com/i/s0DnMf4pPcgF
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
Marvel Godwyn
Sun, 2017-12-10 06:31
Yes, I did Jess.Thanks.
Yes, I did Jess.Thanks.
Marvel Godwyn
Sat, 2017-12-02 13:32
Yes, the Vocaroo.com worked
Yes, the Vocaroo.com worked ,Jess.Thanks.
Marvel Godwyn
Sat, 2017-12-02 13:32
Yes, the Vocaroo.com worked
Yes, the Vocaroo.com worked ,Jess.Thanks.
Marvel Godwyn
Sun, 2017-12-10 06:30
Hello Jess, there was a
Hello Jess, there was a stumble in the second line of the fourth stanza.Do I need to make a correction there?
weirdelf
Sun, 2017-12-10 09:55
No,
You need to think about why I stumbled,
My two new critiques will make it more clear. One of poems I was not so keen on on, the other was brilliant.
It is very important to reply to my critique as to where and why you agree and disagree with me.
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
Marvel Godwyn
Sun, 2017-12-10 12:41
Alright Jess.
Alright Jess.
Marvel Godwyn
Mon, 2017-12-11 01:44
I see now Jess ,you stumbled
I see now Jess , the second line is a continuation of the first, and I used "We all" on the first and second line.I hope I am right now.
weirdelf
Sun, 2017-12-17 00:27
Good revisions
small changes can make a huge difference. This is the spirit of Neopoet.
I'm proud to be working with you, Marvel.
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
Marvel Godwyn
Sun, 2017-12-17 06:09
It's my pleasure Jess, and I
It's my pleasure Jess, and I thank you so much for great effort.