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losing the muse
We don't need words
as I pour my essence into you
we don't need to touch
all I have to do is be
exist, and you bleed art
this coexistence of ours
tiring but intoxicating
Slowly and surely
as candle melts,
I begin to fade into the night
as I have spent my days in your sight
with zilch to offer
death beckoning
Oh yes, let us rest
As I fall off the face of earth
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words:
I've always been interested in the muse...this is how I imagine the muse thinking
Editing stage:
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Comments
themoonman
Thu, 2017-10-12 07:57
Hello,
Enjoyed your poem, perhaps a re-think
on the title ... Musing the lose or the other
way Losing the Muse.
sewie smalls
Thu, 2017-10-12 08:36
Thanks for your suggestion
I'm glad you enjoyed it
Osadolor Osayande
Fri, 2017-10-13 03:41
Nice poem
Nice poem. Have a few questions. Who were the "us" you spoke of?
Secondly (it might just be me thinking) unless I didn't understand the poem at all, I think ZILCH was too much of an exaggeration in a bid to to describe how little you think your creation of art, from muse, turned out to be.
But for those slight vague parts, I think this is a poem I would read severally. Thanks for sharing.
sewie smalls
Tue, 2017-10-17 03:14
thank you
When I said us I referring to the muse..her and her inner woman...if you understand what I mean
I used zilch because she had burned out and had absolutely nothing to offer
I'm glad you like it...thanks