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Summer's Pests [Trochee attempt][Meter WS]
Winter's gone and soon shall Spring.
Summer's close, on doors upcoming.
Wonder what its wings to bring but
awful pests and cheeks with stings.
Editing stage:
Workshop:
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Comments
Rula
Mon, 2017-05-01 02:32
I know :)
Catalectic trochaic tetrameter. I hope it works though as an exercise. I might come up with a pentameter attempt, who knows?
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judyanne
Mon, 2017-05-01 03:00
Rula
You forgot to hit to hit the workshop button
xxx
'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)
Rula
Mon, 2017-05-01 03:04
Thanks for the reminder
dear Judy.
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judyanne
Mon, 2017-05-01 10:03
lol
Forgot to say - good example, a little spot of humour too... I like it
Love judy
xxx
.
'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)
Rula
Thu, 2017-05-04 02:16
Thank you
dear judy.
Appreciate the visit :)
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wesley snow
Mon, 2017-05-01 19:06
Excellent.
.
W. H. Snow
A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley
Learn how, teach others.
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Rula
Thu, 2017-05-04 02:14
Thank you
sir.
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Geezer
Wed, 2017-05-03 10:04
Just so!...
Nothing to crit. Everything edible. ~ Gee.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Rula
Thu, 2017-05-04 02:09
Thank you
Gee.
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Rula
Thu, 2017-05-04 02:14
Dear Audri
Thanks for your kind words. I just hoped thatyou could manage more participation, but I understand how life goes dear. Try to have the joy of writing, sometimes it's just all that we need
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alidzain
Sun, 2017-05-07 11:04
Salam, Rula
wonderful
Alid
Rula
Sun, 2017-05-07 12:09
Salam Khalid
Thank you.
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Rula
Sun, 2017-05-07 12:09
You might be right
Jerry, but it still sounds fine to my ear when I read it aloud.
What about you :)
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Rula
Sun, 2017-05-07 17:10
I believe
If you know the rules but occasionally break them (as long as the rhythm still flows well)I think it's ok then. At the moment I am so interested in training a musical ear. I think this is a step beyond just writing with strict meter, but of course you have a point and I completely respect it.
Many thanks for the kind visit.
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Rula
Mon, 2017-05-08 02:10
Jerry, I am sorry
for any misunderstanding. I never meant to "rebuke" any of my poet-friends here or anywhere else. Please accept my apology if I unintentionally did. I've been learning meter for years now and yet I am relatively new to all this stuff if compared with the masters in this site, but I am proud of what I have already achieved. To label my ex. as an attempt is what we used to do as participants in the workshops, however, what I am seeking when I participate in each meter workshop is quite different. I have that ambition to develop as a poet with all the tools that I have each time I write.
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wesley snow
Mon, 2017-05-08 19:20
This brings up a touchy subject.
My comments should probably be focused on the main thread for everyone, but since EVERYONE reads Rula's work I shall broach it here.
The work we do in this workshop is mechanical. Meaning we should be looking for the strictest of form at expense sometimes of art.
However, it should be taken to heart that metronomic rhythm is not only unnecessary, it is to be viewed as something of an evil.
The metronome is not art. A person will perhaps speak in a comfortable and repeatable metrical rhythm, but naturally will not strictly adhere to it.
Perfect meter is to be frowned upon as it doesn't represent natural speech.
So for the workshop... try to write as a metronome. We are learning the format and must think in square lines and round circles, but when we "write"... allow the format to lead, but not restrict.
There are many paths to the same place.
W. H. Snow
A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley
Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about
weirdelf
Mon, 2017-07-03 07:48
Bloody well done, Rula
I'll read it both naturally and stressing the stress.
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1n1K3p3ikdK
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry