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Rook Wind
Your voice is all that's heard,
at night in the upper lands
you batter at doors and rattle the caged
birds
But to fly with you in this night
would be insanity defined
just as to dance with you,
less refined
You roar and ring, ensnare my house
like a jealous lover, lusting for fire,
that stilled within, listening to you
with beating heart
I can't imagine what you do up there
in the dark hills, where my little
house sits, perched on a crag
waiting for you
To scoop up the valley in an elemental
tantrum, of flying twigs, swaying trunks
trees bent over like old men with canes
waving at you
And when you finally surge up that hill
and clasp the shrill tin roof that will
be singing of imminent calamity
will the wires break?
Will you leave enough to call me,
when this is all over, and your
channelling of the sea, rough as hell
is at dead calm?
And I can call you then, a breeze,
and no offence will be wafted at my door
no flotsam planted on the floor
no harm done?
And we'll call it quits till next year.
Comments
judyanne
Sat, 2016-05-14 04:19
love this Chris
Do you think using 'you are' immediately at the beginning, instead of 'this wind is....' might not be more effective..?
I've known some winds - can relate to this
descriptive and emotive
love the ending
Good write
love judy
xxx
'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)
vandiemenspeak
Sun, 2016-05-15 18:40
Thanks Judy..
Took your suggestion on board and made it more personal with 'Your voice' and tweaked the first line a bit. Hopefully reads better. Thanks for the input.
Take care,
Chris.
Chris Hall - Tasmania
Grossbooted draymen rolled barrels dullthudding out of Prince's stores and bumped them up on the brewery float. On the brewery float bumped dullthudding barrels rolled by grossbooted draymen out of Prince's stores.
Keith Logan
Sun, 2016-05-15 00:04
I love this
Personification is a much favoured device for me. this poem is also replete with perfect, short descriptions. The wind was indeed an eloquent jealous lover lusting for life.
Keith Logan
the happy chappy
https://www.neopoet.com/community-guidelines
vandiemenspeak
Sun, 2016-05-15 18:43
Thanks Keith..
Yes, personification is very creative, starting to play with it a bit more. And when your alone with the wind blowing your garden to bits, it does feel very personal!
Take care,
Chris
Chris Hall - Tasmania
Grossbooted draymen rolled barrels dullthudding out of Prince's stores and bumped them up on the brewery float. On the brewery float bumped dullthudding barrels rolled by grossbooted draymen out of Prince's stores.