Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Singing the ennui away.
Trundle up the hill in grief,
then thunder down,hot tears in rain
Wedge your nose into a rose,
as if to learn to sniff again
Find your feet, raise up and plod
on the self same, old beaten track
Peer in lost curiosity at shops, once known,
interiors now, are starkly black
Realize, you've done all this before
and wonder also, too
Why all the horror of the world
has been lost on some, but loosed on you
But know: this is just the ennui talking
that late afternoon palliative rose
That covets all our shouldered burdens
convinces us we're carved morose
When will all this vicious circling,
totem of the life we call absurd
Be broken and the heart thrown open -
hearing songs, as yet unheard?
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Last few words:
France, notre cœur est avec vous.
Editing stage:
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
wesley snow
Tue, 2015-11-24 11:51
My kind of poetry.
Loose, but obvious structure. Almost a western structured free verse.
I liked it very much.
W. H. Snow
A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley
Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about
vandiemenspeak
Tue, 2015-11-24 17:45
Thanks Wes, and love the quote...
Ever since the Guardian (UK) misprinted "can't" with hilarious, if unfortunate consequences, I read that paper very carefully.
Take care.
Chris.
Chris Hall - Tasmania
Grossbooted draymen rolled barrels dullthudding out of Prince's stores and bumped them up on the brewery float. On the brewery float bumped dullthudding barrels rolled by grossbooted draymen out of Prince's stores.
scribbler
Tue, 2015-11-24 18:05
Hello!
I suspect you are already aware that line 7 needs a bit of trimming. Maybe :peer through shop glazes once familiar? Enjoyed the read nonetheless........stan
vandiemenspeak
Wed, 2015-12-09 08:05
Thanks Stan,
Well spotted, was just testing you ;) - line is thus tweaked, and another minor change. busy time of the year, haven't been around much, hope all is well.
Cheers.
Chris.
Chris Hall - Tasmania
Grossbooted draymen rolled barrels dullthudding out of Prince's stores and bumped them up on the brewery float. On the brewery float bumped dullthudding barrels rolled by grossbooted draymen out of Prince's stores.