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Happiness ala virus kindness Judy edit
Happiness
like a virus
comes and goes
how it comes
and
where it goes
no one yet knows
Billions of dollars
down the drain go
as they all want to sow
the virus of happiness
plenty more to grow
But still scientists,
doctors
do not yet know
how come
cold cures in a week
with medicine
and in seven days
it goes
without.......
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
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Comments
Rula
Tue, 2015-02-17 01:07
Hello Loved
is indeed like a virus. We can catch if we are satisfied with every little thing we have. Health, money, kids ...etc.
I believe we can be always happy if we want to.
I like your simile. Yet I see you've gone so far talking about flu (cold) virus. (IMO)
and do you really need the reversed syntax??
❤❤❤❤❤❤
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lovedly
Tue, 2015-02-17 10:31
if u r meaning
without
here it means outside
and without
it ...this is silent understood I thought!
(medicines)
alidzain
Tue, 2015-02-17 20:57
Hi loved
I loved the starting and the middle part of the poem but I'm not too sure about the ending until I read your poem's title. You're trying to say that happiness is like a big mystery. Am I right? Good one.
Alid
lovedly
Tue, 2015-02-17 23:42
each one for himself
a poet can't satisfy 7.5 billions
keep that in mind
alidzain
Wed, 2015-02-18 15:07
of course not
we are only human after all.
Alid
lovedly
Wed, 2015-02-18 19:25
yeah we r
or r we?
is a big question
dear Alid
judyanne
Thu, 2015-02-19 12:12
it seems unfinished loved
I understand you are comparing the two, but you haven't joined the concepts
You may need perhaps a single line after 'down the drain go', saying something like 'just as', then add a bit at the end to bring happiness and a virus into comparison
I like this
Love judy
xxx
'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)
lovedly
Thu, 2015-02-19 14:10
thanks for the training Judy
i will soonly....
lovedly
Thu, 2015-02-19 14:18
Judy
donnnnnnned it
howz zit!
lovedly
Sat, 2023-02-25 13:12
This makes me recall
Judy was always ready to edit at call
Lord bless her
where ever