Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Summer’s Song
So he continued to press on,
always seeking opportunities for growth;
reading the language of the universe.
It was in this state,
whilst driving down the road,
chance brought forth
a beauty to behold.
The seed pods of a wisteria
That climbed an old ash
were swaying in the breeze,
clanging like so many wind chimes.
And like himself,
summer’s song did carry on.
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words:
Observational piece. Something I saw whilst driving and thinking. iPhone journal stuff.
Tim
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
Candlewitch
Sun, 2022-06-26 08:53
dear Tim,
I love this small piece of sweetness. for some reason unknown, I wanted to read it with an Irish accent. from the start, it tripped along nicely, leading me down the path to a well timed (poetically speaking) ending which I liked best!
And like himself,
summer’s song did carry on.
I visualize your muse sitting on your shoulder, with her ankles crossed, whispering in your ear!
*soft smiles ;) Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Simon
Mon, 2022-06-27 06:16
Hi Rosewood
I love this song, truly from the starting of this summer's song to the end I love please keep on the great work
Jackweb
Mon, 2022-06-27 09:35
Hello Rose!
I can feel the high - energy and chill moods.
"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".
~Jackweb