Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

SILENCED! – a deadly cycle

Submitted by Pou on Thu, 2024-08-22 19:33

Ssshhh! they hissed…Keep quiet!
But why? I asked
Only to be frowned upon.
Do as you are told! Don’t talk back
But I want…
Shut up!
You’re cut off!

To your own little world, you retreat
Confused over the matter
Buts and Whys flood your mind
Tears triggered to trickle down from incorruptibility
Heart pierced by double edged swords
Scarred and ruined for life
Shutting down is what you decide

Speak up! They yelled.
I can’t hear you, you hypocrite!
Are you dumb?
But they be knocking on iron doors
Ignorant
As to who locked it up
They are clueless and cruel-est

You are buried with questions
Why now? you wonder
Feeling like an unconnected tv remote control
Stuttering and Mumbling
Is all they get from you
Confidence was murdered long time ago
You have no will to go on

Now as an adult, you turn around
To mirror the person ahead
To a young person you once were
Taking no thought
Of how a numbskull you are
Shame on you!

Will the cycle ever end?

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 
Editing - polished draft
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content
Opt-in: Neopoet AI will critique your poem.

Comments

neopoet

Fri, 2024-08-23 01:33

neopoet's picture
Volunteer badge

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

It is not feasible to offer feedback.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Candlewitch

Fri, 2024-08-23 08:18

Candlewitch's picture
Volunteer badge

I see you are new here. Welcome to Neopoet, it is very nice to meet you! The answer to your question at the end of your poem is Yes! The cycle can be broken! I know, because I broke it many years ago. I cut all that ugly out of my life and you can, too! I very much liked this poem because I can relate to it so well. my favorite lines are:

Speak up! They yelled.
I can’t hear you, you hypocrite!
Are you dumb?
But they be knocking on iron doors
Ignorant
As to who locked it up
They are clueless and cruel-est

*hugs, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.