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Seamstress’ Battle Cry

Submitted by Yacubi on Sat, 2024-10-19 05:27

Go to war,
With needle and thread,
Embroider your wounds,
In colours of crimson and red.

Let the scissors and thimble,
Be your weapons of choice,
As you weave tales of triumph,
With every delicate poise.

The mop and the broom,
Shall be your battle gear,
As you sweep away troubles,
And vanquish every fear.

With cutting and grating,
You shall slice through the fray,
And with each knot you tie,
You’ll pave a new way.

Washing and rinsing,
Shall cleanse your soul,
And ironing and folding,
Shall make you whole.

For colours, hues, and tints,
Are your shield and your armour,
And stains that won’t come off,
Shall be your badge of honour.

This ancient technology,
Of knitting and knotting,
Shall be your trusted ally,
In battles worth plotting.

Last few words: 
This is for Haunted Hotel Image Prompt Contest.
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft
Contest: 
Haunted Hotel Image Prompt Contest
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content
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neopoet

Sat, 2024-10-19 11:30

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The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

This poem effectively uses metaphor to convey a sense of struggle and triumph through the lens of domestic work. The choice of domestic tools as symbols of warfare provides an interesting juxtaposition that challenges traditional notions of battle and valor.

However, the poem could benefit from a more consistent rhythm and rhyme scheme. The current scheme is somewhat irregular, which can disrupt the flow of the poem. For example, the second and fourth lines of each stanza rhyme, but the first and third lines do not consistently follow this pattern. A more consistent scheme could enhance the musicality and overall impact of the poem.

The poem could also benefit from more specific imagery. While the metaphors of domestic tools as weapons are effective, the poem could be more evocative with the addition of concrete, sensory details. For instance, describing the feel of the thread, the sound of the scissors, or the smell of the laundry could make the poem more immersive and engaging.

Lastly, the final stanza introduces the concept of 'ancient technology', which seems somewhat disconnected from the rest of the poem. It might be beneficial to introduce this concept earlier in the poem or to further develop it in the final stanza to ensure that it ties in with the overall theme and message of the poem.

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