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Bitter End

Words like knife blades,
shred the soul to ribbons,
soaked in invisible blood.
Have you ever really loved?

Drenched in your own sin,
covered with lies, broken promises
shatter like shards of glass.
Have you ever really hurt?

Toxic lover, steeped with hate.
Bite the apple, choke it down
Poison drips from your bitter lips
Have you ever looked at death?

Restless soul, abandoned body.
No one came, no one at all.
You burnt your bridge.
Now rot in hell.

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The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "Bitter End" presents a vivid and intense exploration of pain, betrayal, and abandonment. The use of strong, evocative imagery throughout the poem effectively conveys the speaker's emotional turmoil.

In terms of structure, the poem is consistent, with each stanza ending with a rhetorical question. This pattern effectively emphasizes the speaker's introspection and emotional questioning. However, the poem could benefit from a more varied rhythm to avoid monotony and to better mirror the tumultuous emotions being explored.

The metaphors used, such as "Words like knife blades" and "shatter like shards of glass," are powerful and contribute to the overall dark and intense mood of the poem. However, the metaphor "You burnt your bridge" is a common phrase and may not carry the same weight or originality as the other images presented. Consider revising this metaphor to better match the unique and striking imagery found elsewhere in the poem.

The language used is direct and raw, which effectively communicates the speaker's anger and pain. However, the poem could benefit from a more nuanced exploration of these emotions. For instance, instead of directly stating "Now rot in hell," the poem could imply this sentiment through more subtle and complex language.

Lastly, the poem might benefit from a clearer narrative or context. While the intense emotions are clearly conveyed, the reader may be left wondering about the specific circumstances or events that led to these feelings. Providing more context could make the poem more relatable and engaging for the reader.

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Hello, Carrie,
There is a scene in the movie "Practical Magic" where determined, lovely people corner an evil spirit in order to exterminate it. They conquer it by overcoming fear with strength, and then sweep that mutha out the door, never to return. Your poem feels that way to me. It's bold and bitter, but it's gone, gone, gone. Adios.
Thank you!
Lx

Yes ..they are all gone gone gone. I'm less haunted but still working through some aftermath. Thank you for the read and comment

~RoseBlack~

author comment

I can see you working your way through bad situations. I am sorry there are so many. Unloading by way of poetry is healthy and you do it well. Someday you will be free from all the fallout ans debris, I swear it! Good venting!

*hugs, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

One by one, they are slowly coming to an end. Letting go of the anger and past traumas is the challenge but getting easier daily. Thank you for the read and comment.

~RoseBlack~

author comment

Rose, I feel the bitterness, the hurt and possibly a sign of a better tomorrow.

I love your poems and try to read every one.

Good job!

I appreciate your comments and love of my work. Better days are coming and have already started.

~RoseBlack~

author comment

Hi Carrie, this one deserves a lot of time and attention because I sense it's a tale you're telling us in all its bitterness. The development is great and I felt as if I was being dragged down and inwards to turmoil, like a wild river? Great job, Ruby :) xx

Give and grow - let's raise our verses together. I'm happy to comment on your work and appreciate a comment on mine.

You nailed it. It's a story that finally is coming to an end but not before they got one last dig in on me.

~RoseBlack~

author comment

I hope the bitterness is going away fast and that you find within yourself hope for a better tomorrow.
Love your poems. I thank you for reading mine and your comments.

Prayers for better days!

Yes...I definitely found better, much more then I ever could have dreamed of. Thank you for the read and comment.

~RoseBlack~

author comment

The hate is palpable. The indignation, solid as stone, the satisfaction at the end of the punishnent applied, is almost euphoric.
Beautiful.

I am definitely on to better things but some wounds are still open. Writing certainly helps heal. Thank you for your comment and praise.

~RoseBlack~

author comment
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